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The Routine May Not Be So Routine

Yesterday during my visit to Children’s Hospital to see a family in our church whose 5-month son had open heart surgery -- I was afforded a very pleasant surprise.  Now first I want to mention the best news is that the surgery was a success and his recovery is gong well. 

Now for me the surprise was running into ICU nurse that was assigned to my son when he was there in that same ICU six years ago.  (For a recap of my visit and my son’s medical journey click here.)  I had not seen in her in five years and it a took a little while for her to have some kind of remembrance of me and she could not recall who my son was.  I took no offense to this as I know she has probably seen hundreds of similar cases and patients in the past 5 years let alone her lifetime.  I was just glad that I was able to express my gratitude toward her for the way she took care of my son.  I even showed her a recent picture of my son, though she would not recognize him by any means, just to show that he is living a normal life.  This brief interaction prodded an overwhelming sense of gratitude for not only her, but all who played a role in getting my son and wife & I through this.

In my line of work where I serve as a pastor in a church of over 2,500 people and I have had the privilege of being a part of individual’s and family’s defining moments of their life.  Yet I would be lying if I said I can recall those moments with the same vividness as they do.  Sometimes it takes a little of reminiscing on their part for memory to be jarred of the event. 

However, there was a significant learning for me.  “What may be routine to us in our vocational life, maybe a defining experience for others.”  This prodded me to want to try to give my very best in all that I do because even I don’t remember it they will.

"So We Can Comfort Others ..."

II Corinthians 1:3,4 (TNIV) says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

These verses are often quoted as way of encouraging others or possibly to shed light or offer perspective when someone is going through a critical life situation or crisis.  The notion being that one day, it could be in the near or distant future, the pain or turmoil you are experiencing now will have a purpose to help someone else, though at the present moment it is unsightly.

On Wednesday I went on a visit to Children’s Hospital to see a family in our church whose almost 5-month son was having open heart surgery to repair multiple holes in his heart.  I was approached by the child’s grandmother about 4 months ago when the child was born to ask me to be available in the future when this day would come.

So I strategically went to the hospital at around 11:30am -- the surgery was about 7am.   I say strategically because I figured that it would be right around that time when their son should be out of post-op and in his intensive care unit room.  The parents would have been able to see their baby, get a report from the surgeon and now breathe a sigh of relief that the operation was over.

Now how would I know this information?  And why would I be approached about this unknown future date almost 4 months ago?

Because almost six years ago our son at five months had open heart surgery at Children’s hospital in San Diego.  We like this family had the same time scheduled for our son’s operation and went through a similar process. I was actually familiar with the surgeon that performed their son’s operation.   When I met up with the family it was in the same waiting room that was our residence for about 5 day and when I was able to go in see their little baby boy it was in the same ICU.

Being there was a surreal experience.  The chairs in the waiting room was the same, the layout etc.  It brought back so many memories of what we went through.  I never stop being amazed at how God works!  I would not have thought when we were going through our son’s operation 6 years ago we would have an opportunity to minister to a family in our church going through an almost identical situation in many ways years later.

Most importantly their son came through the operation really well and the surgery was a success!  Praise God!!!

So I don’t know what you may be going through at this moment and the idea of your situation having some redemptive purpose in the future is the last thing on your mind, yet I want to encourage you God is faithful and He will use what you are going through for good.

The Last Dance Miracle!

Our churches are full of gold.  When speaking of gold I am referring to rich, treasured stories of God's working through the lives of the people in our congregations. And when you hear a great story the discipline comes in discerning the right placement of it in a specific service.  Sometimes we sit on a story for over year in our attempt to share the story for optimal results.  Such is the case of this my journey segment by Jon Davies who has been a part of our church life since day 1.  

Here is his journey that he shared in our services this past weekend.  You might want to get some tissue before you read.  Enjoy!

Hi my name is Jon Davies and this is my journey.

A miracle could be defined as an event which cannot be created or manipulated by human hands or intellect but orchestrated by God to give honor and glory to Him alone.  That is what I experienced and many witnessed on August 12, 2007 when I was the father of the bride on that day.

Charcot Marie Tooth and Parkinson’s disease has taken its toll on my life and as a result on most days my ability to walk is limited and I get around using my wheelchair or my Segway, or crutches or even on my hands and knees.

But my conditioned paled to the one thing that had consumed my heart outside of the Chargers loss to the Patriots in Jan 2007.  On my daughter’s wedding day was I going to be able to walk her down the aisle of the church and give her away and would I be able to dance with her.

I was going to miss out on an event that could never be repeated or experienced in any way.  .  Without a miracle by God Himself,  I would have to  watch as someone else walk her and indeed miss that last chance to dance with her and whisper in her ear how much I loved her and how proud I was of her on her day.   

I shared my dilemma with any who would listen.   And I found many people whose hearts were full of compassion and hope and encouragement.  I pleaded for prayer hoping for a miracle, but my faith was weak, as my body typically would not offer me the same hope.  

And as time went on…  people would encourage me to expect a different.  My best friend Dave and I prayed together every week and implored God to allow me this desire.   My home group was praying.   Our new in-laws were praying.   People I did not even know were praying for me… and it was quite humbling.  

As the days got closer to “the” day my daughter asked me the dreaded question,    “Dad, are you going to be able to do the dance?”   Tearfully I did not know how to answer.

The night of the rehearsal came and at that point we had several plans in place for the walk down the aisle.  It was then my emotions began to take over and I began to tear up…  (which of course started the girls crying)  

One option gave me some hope.   This was a pretty large church and with a long isle even under the best of circumstances it was unrealistic to think I could walk the entire way alone.   So perhaps I would ride the Segway halfway (to the back of where the people were sitting) and get off and walk the remainder of the way.   

The wedding arrived and I needed to pace myself to conserve energy.   I arrived at the church an hour before the ceremony and began to move around in the waiting area as much as possible to get limbered up and see if I could coax my legs to move …..   but they were not responding..  15 minutes before the wedding a young man named Ben came up to me and out of the blue told me he had been watching me for a few days and had compassion and asked if he could pray for me.    I knew at that moment there were many others praying as well.  It was at that time my son Tim approached me stating that riding the Segway all the way would be lame ….   So I made the decision based on faith and not by sight.   We are going for it

5 minutes ago I could barely stand up and now I am telling the beautiful bride that we are going to do it….WOW…. and …HOW?

I was extremely nervous as I was rolling down the isle on the Segway… aiming for the last row of guests.   I arrived there, got off and Kristen put her arm in mine and we walked and walked all the way to the front of the church where I proceeded to pump my fist in the air for God had done a miracle!

At the reception the moment fast approached where I would share our special dance.  Again things were iffy but I was not going to miss this for anything.   My daughter chose Bette Midler’s “You’re my Hero”.   As the music started, I shuffled to the edge of the dance floor and we began to rock back and forth.   My legs began to move slower and slower till they could not move any more.  I felt like Cinderella at midnight.    I did not want to let go of the moment… and soon we were standing in one place swaying to the music and as our time ended we embraced and I had to be helped off the floor by Kristen and the DJ.    Another miracle had taken place!  I will never forget that night and what God did.

I still cant walk…. But for a few brief moments…..  I did. 

My name is Jon and this is My Journey.

Being Like the One Leper

10 days ago I had the opportunity to play a very small role at a celebration gathering, that quite frankly,  I wish would happen more often.  Chuck Martinez one of the greeters at our church gathered 50 of some of his wife Jeannine’s closest friends to simply give thanks to God and to all of them for their support in the journey they had been on.

Jeanine, two months ago went in for a double-mastectomy, and by God’s grace the surgery was successful.  She went in on a Monday, was released on Wednesday and actually attended church that Sunday.  Now a surgery of this magnitude is serious however, the weight of this was even more so for Jeannine as she has been battling various forms of cancer over the past five years and there was a sense of finality this time around.  In addition this is an extra sensitive matter to Chuck who lost his first wife to cancer.

So on this afternoon it had the flavor of a small wedding.  There was a catered meal, a cake, a presenting of gifts to hosts who helped put this party on and even an out of town friend from child hood visiting to share memories of Jeannine.  We ate, laughed and simply hung out with the sole purpose to celebrate the fact that Jeannine was here with us.   What a great afternoon!  I had the privilege of presiding over Chuck and Jeannine’s wedding seven years ago and in many ways this gathering was just as special if not more so.

In Luke 17:11-17 Jesus tells the story of healing ten lepers and how only one returned to give thanks.

“One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.”

How often do we let these moments of God’s intervention in our lives pass and fail to take the time to reflect and give thanks to God He truly deserves?

Chuck and Jeannine thank you for being like the one who returned to give thanks.

A Twittering Moment ... Watching Bub Get Baptized!

Bub  (Paul Stevens) commented on my blog some time around August last year.  Being unfamiliar with who he was I checked out his blog godmeandpoker.blogspot.com and I found his latest post very interesting.  He mentioned in the post how he was taking initial steps toward trying to build connections within our church (I did not know he even attended Journey at that point) by commenting on the various pastor's blogs and that he was thinking of possibly getting baptized. 

I commented on his blog and ask what service he attended so we could meet.  Well over a period of time and through his Tweets and Facebook updates myself as well as many of my friends got to know Bub as he initiated following us on Twitter and/or asking us to become his friend on Facebook. 

For those who have been critical of social networking services like Twitter and Facebook of having a negative effect on people establishing "real" relationships and friendships; or for those who have said these means are a waste of time and that foster a pseudo form of community.  Bub's story would dispell these critics.  Just ask him.  He has since attended various classses we offer and served on our weekends and special events and for all intention purposes is fully vested in the life of our church.

So this past Sunday Bub got baptized.  And standing with him was a friend he met through Twitter, Kevin, whom has had a spiritual impact in his life and Todd Tolson, one of our pastors whom Bub also met through Twitter.

And what better way to celebrate this significant moment in Bub's life than to have him come out of the water seeing the following banner (first picture in this post) and having it later signed up by those who are following him on Twitter.

25 Million Pieces of Legos

Yesterday I took my kids to Legoland for the first time.  In addition to my kids having a great time (the rides and attractions are just right for their ages 3 & 5 respectively)  I found myself marveling at how building blocks that I played with as a kids could be used to build such incredible works. 

It is said that over 40 million lego pieces have been used to build the various statues and exhibits seen throughout the park -- with over 25 million being used for Miniland alone.  I could have spent hours taking in the intricacies and details of what was on display. 

Check these out:

New York City

Mount Rushmore

Las Vegas

San Francisco

The inauguration of the President

Human Thanking Machine

 I heard a pastor mention that after their church had gone through a huge event, his focus would be on being a "human thanking machine."  That is how I feel after the incredible weekend that we just experienced on Easter.  So today my focus will be on using the following means -- Twitter, Facebook, E-mail, Text-Messaging, Blogging and Voice Mail to thank the various teams and individuals for tremendous output over the past few weeks. 

"We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves."
I Thessalonians 5:12,13

A Sub-Economic Stimulus Plan

I do not have enough of a business or economics back ground to lend my opinion to how to fix our current economic realities that our country is facing.  And at the same time from general observation it seems that when money is put into people's hands to invest and start small businesses -- jobs are created.

Two friends of mine Eric & Nikki Henry have been on a quest to own their own business. That dream became reality yesterday when they opened a Submarina franchise on the corner of Balboa and Convoy in the Clairemont area.  This has truly been a faith endeavor for them.  Over the past two years they have seen locations that they thought be a future sight fall out and yet they believed.

Their faith has been a blessing to others.  They have employed six people that I know that previously were unemployed and looking for work.

So if you are in the area or if you know of someone who works in the area be sure to tell to stop by their location to get a sandwich.

I have the distinction of being their first repeat customer as I also went to their friends and family private opening on Thursday.

The Terrible Towel: "Will I Do it?"

After last Sunday -- I have taken a lot of flack regarding me wearing a Pittsburgh Steeler shirt to close our services especially in view of the fact that the San Diego Chargers playing Pittsburgh later that day.  To find out why I wore the shirt click here.

Now that the Steelers have beat the Chargers and are going on the AFC championship I just received a infamous Pittsburgh Steeler "Terrible Towel in the mail yesterday.  This is perfect.  I could close out our services this weekend like I normally do and say something like this ... 

"If you have any prayer need our after service prayer team is here to pray with you and specifically if you need to shed a tear over the Charger loss last Sunday I will be available to wipe off your tears with this Terrible Towel." 

The question is: "Will I Do It?"  The stakes are definitely higher on this one.   If I do, I will have to name my accomplice -- I will not be able to go at this alone.  The person who gave me the shirt and sent me the towel is my friend Meg Tomko.   Meg serves as the Creative Arts/Programming Director at an incredible church in the Pittsburgh area Orchard Hill Church. 

So thanks Meg and the community at Orchard Hill Church keep up the great work and go Steelers!

Ben Toth (One on My Favorite People)

One of my favorite people at the church I serve at is Ben Toth. I first met Ben over 8 years ago when he was 13. His life to this point has been filled with struggles and at the same time great victories. I am always encouraged by the way he is taking steps to grow. Ben's outcome is not by accident -- it is a result of many factors including God's grace and incredible parenting. As I am friends with his parents Bryan and Becky -- I remember him sharing this one story about them that has stood out over the years. He said that he had never seen his parents fight in front of him or his brother and sister. Now he further shared that there were times he knew they were angry at one another, but they never let it manifest in front of him. He said having parents like that gives him the freedom to talk to them about "anything." Bryan & Becky should be proud! They have incredible son that is a great team member in our church here is his journey below.

Impressions of an Olympics Junkie

I am amongst the many who are contributing to San Diego being the number 1 city in terms of Olympic viewing.  I have been a long time Olympics fan.  It started in 1980 with me getting up at 7am to follow speed skater Eric Heiden win five gold medals, my favorite Olympian to this day, and of course watching the USA Hockey Team beat the then Soviet Union team 4-3.

Now after 1 week and I am not going to say how many hours of Olympic Viewing I have put in, but here are my impressions after the first week of competition.

• The incredible class, grace, humility and ...,  I could go on & on in superlatives, to describe how Mark Spitz congratulated Michael Phelps in matching his record of 7 gold medals in one competition.  Spitz, is definitely a man who has athletic achievements in proper perspective and respect to life as a whole.
• The Redeem Team -- as great a collection of NBA superstars that this team possesses -- the greatest thrill for me is watching Mike Krzyzewski (Coach K) lead this team -- it has well documented how these multi-million dollar superstars have the utmost respect for his leadership.
• The Opening Ceremony -- simply the greatest ever!  Nuff said.
• Dara Torres at 41 it is amazing to think she is old enough to be the mother of most of her competitors. (If she wins gold tonight in its own way, in my opinion just as big and achievement as Michael Phelps 7 or possibly 8 gold medals).
• Michael Phelps winning 7 gold medals. (it is one thing for an underdog to have unexpected win over the heavily favored -- it is another, and far more difficult in my opinion, to be expected to win and actually do it!)
• Nine-year old Lin Hao, who walked out with Yao Ming holding the Chinese Flag during the opening ceremony, exhibited one of the greatest acts of leadership I have heard of.
• The Chinese teams -- they are well known for their athletic prowess in gymnastics but they are making their present felts in so many fields where they once were not present.  There is a reason they are leading the medal count.

So what are your impressions so far -- I would love to hear it.

Journey Summit Team: a Solid Gold Hit!

Serving as a Leadership Summit host site for five years there is one highlight that always stands out.  It is the incredible volunteer serving team that helps put on the event!  We have more than 60 volunteers that take as many as four vacation days to help at this event. Though the event is two days (Thursday & Friday) they often take the day before off to help with prep and up until this year the event had Saturday sessions.

The amazing thing is that many, way more than half, have served every year we have hosted.  In addition we do absolutely no formal recruiting for the event and actually have had to turn away help.  We simply send the team a reminder annually.

One of the lead roles on the Summit Team -- is the volunteer central team.  The leader of that team is responsible for creating a space for all team members to be refreshed (through meals, refreshments and a relaxing environment) and for providing all the latest information that team members would need throughout the day.  Over the years the leaders of these teams have come up with creative themes to celebrate and highlight great examples of servant-hood and service.  This year took on a retro-album theme with the way of expressing or communicating an "at a boy or at a girl" or a praise.

A Significant Friendship

Here is a great thought from Chazown by Craig Groeschel p. 135
"God wants us to experience His fullness through great relationships.  He has people prepared to mentor you, sharpen you, love you, and lead you toward His Chazown for your life.  He also prepared you to speak into the live of others.  To make them better and more effective.  He has accountability friends prepared to be a blessing in your life.  God has plans to bless your favorite relationships and glorify His name as you share His love."

This is an on-going prayer request of mine, that I would take time to develop meaningful relationships.  I already mentioned in previous post the importance of vital friends and earlier this week I was able to connect with another friend that God continually uses in a significant way in my life.

This friend that I had lunch with was the first friend I made when I moved here over 15 years ago and throughout my time of knowing him one thing that has stood out, amongst his many qualities, is how he stewards his financial resources.  I really have no idea what is earning capacity is, but I do know it is pretty significant.  Yet to say that he lives frugally would be an understatement.  During our conversation over lunch it was brought to my attention that he neither has a home phone now nor wireless internet in his home and when I inquired why -- he simply said it was an expense that he did not want to incur.  In addition we were talking about our cars -- he has a nice vehicle but closing in on 200,000 miles and he mentioned how though he could buy another one -- he just can't justify it at this point.  I questioned him to whether the economy was effecting his decision making on these matters.  To the contrary he said this has been his best year yet from a financial stand point.

Now being frugal and being not generous is not the same thing.  Whereas he may be frugal regarding his personal lifestyle, he is very generous when it comes to others.  He is continually contributing financially to projects for various churches and organizations in addition to individual people's needs.

I am so grateful for this friendship and left very challenged as always to re-evaluate how steward my resources and to consider what is really necessary regarding my lifestyle.  

In addition I found myself saying that my friend is living a Significant life, specifically in regards to Giving.  Significance is subject matter of our upcoming series starting this weekend and Giving is specific topic being addressed this weekend.  For a preview of this weekend click here.

Vital Friends (Hanging Out with Don)

A few weeks ago I was able to hang out with my friend Don Everts, who came and spoke at our church.  I was introduced to Don through his books and over the years we have developed a great friendship.  The one thing I also walk away with after hanging out with him is a desire to be more like Jesus.

Here are a few of my favorite Don Everts' stories:
1. While his wife was pregnant and they had one year old they decided to move to a lower income, more dangerous part of downtown Denver for a summer to live amongst the poor and to extend the love of Christ through some tangible means.
2. During his six month sabbatical he spent two months in Mexico accompanied by his wife and two children and flying there they did not check in any luggage.
3. Receiving a prompting to leave his campus ministry to serve in a church context to be able to exercise his teaching and preaching gifts more fully -- he left his job believing God would provide His next one before having secured any position.

This time through our conversations the topic of endurance came up at different points as something God has been challenging him to grow in.  In a subtle way God has used those conversations to challenge me in the area of endurance as well. Here a few examples of how it has affected me.

1. My workouts specifically in my running:  by nature in this area of my life I am prone to take the path of least resistance but over the last two weeks when ever I have been tempted to hit the stop button on the treadmill the thought of enduring has stuck in mind.  As a result I have ran longer and more consistently and have experienced breakthroughs in time and distance.
2. My prayer life: I have been praying for some specific areas of my life and quite frankly I had been growing quite weary and discouraged in my prayers -- yet again endurance has come to my mind in this area and has renewed my efforts to pray despite what I may be feeling.
3. My parenting: this is not something comes intuitively to me.  I have to really work at.  And at times I feel I have very little emotional energy to give to my children -- yet at times when I have been tempted to withdraw because I feel I am emotionally spent the thought of endurance has challenged me to give more.

All this to say it so important have vital friendships in your life -- you never know how God may use them to speak into your life.

Learning from an Incredible Leader

If you were to go amazon.com and do a search putting in the word "leadership" the very first two entries you would find is leadership books by John Maxwell. And if you would continue scroll down you would find many more of his books listed. All this to say that John Maxwell, in many ways has become synonymous with leadership.

For years I have been influenced by John Maxwell through his books, cds and seeing him speak at various conferences. Recently I have been able to see his leadership lived out in a couple of brief interactions as he often attends our church when he is in town. His daughter and her family attends Journey and therefore he and his wife attend with them.

Two Sundays ago I was able to speak with John for a few moments in between services and it was invaluable learning experience for me.  I experienced what it means to be a great leader.

First, when I introduced myself and after exchanging basic pleasantries, he immediately gave very positive feedback about the service -- specifically the message. He went into great detail about how the passage that was spoken on and its subject matter gave him insight that was fresh and new to him and how it really spoke to him. Now this is coming from someone who knows something about preaching and teaching.

The lesson I relearned is that I leaders are truly learners.

Second, I did not want to take up to much of his time, but I have made it habit whenever I meet a gifted leader to ask them what they are reading or have recently read. He then began to share about the last four books he read. Now it took him a while to get through the four books because he was interrupted by a few old friends that wanted to say hi (more about that later) however, after greeting his friends he always picked up where he left off to make sure I got the book titles and authors right.

The lesson I relearned is to take the time to invest and help other leaders grow -- it may take more than a book list at times but it is worth it.

Third, throughout my conversation he was greeted by a few former leaders and board members that he lead while pastoring Skyline Church. What stood out to me was how though he probably had not had much contact with them in years - - he still knew them all by name and also a lot of their children's names.

The lesson I relearned is that it is all about people and taking a genuine interest in them.

Parenting: The Great Leveling Field

Gary Haugen, leader of the International Justice Mission,  shared that coming from the United States and trying to serve and help those coming from some of the worst of situations on the global front -- has found it challenge at times to find that common ground to minister to them.  However through the years he has found this one common denominator as stated in his newest book.

"Parenting seems to be the great leveling experience among human beings, especially in the unique sense of vulnerability that mysteriously accompanies parents of all places.  Parents all over the world love their kids, yet none of us (rich or poor) can control what happens to them." p. 92 Just Courage by Gary Haugen

As a parent two children 5 & 2 respectively I could not agree more.

Roger & Marguerite Celebrate 50 Years Together!

Earlier today I attended a party to celebrate friends of mine Roger and Marguerite Gerber's 50th Wedding Anniversary. Their anniversary is May 10 but they held off the celebration until today so that all of their children and grand children could attend.

I have known Roger and Marguerite for close to 15 years now. Roger and I have served on various ministry teams together in the past. He played a critical role in being a part of an original leadership team that I lead to help launch one of Horizon Christian Fellowship's (San Diego) first satellite church locations in the North Clairemont area of San Diego and later we were on staff together at then Horizon East County (now Journey Community Church.) Roger was our first facilities staff person.

Though we have not seen much of each other over the past few years -- connecting today seemed like old times. I am continually encouraged at how Roger, now in his seventies, is still playing an active role in the church he attends -- he serves as a children's ministry volunteer where he minister to children with special needs. This is a real passion of his. In addition he still bikes over 10 miles three times a week to stay physically fit.

And on this occasion where they celebrated 50 years of life together -- they also celebrated life in another way. They requested no gifts -- with the exception monetary gifts being made out to a ministry called Silent Voices.

Congratulations Roger & Marguerite!

Technology: The New Rock Star

Technology has now been elevated to rock-star status.  Take for example yesterday with the release of the new iphone running on the 3G network.  Scenes like below with literally hundreds of people waiting hours in line to get this new device on its opening day were taking place all across America.  I happened to be at Fashion Valley Shopping Center and took these pictures -- unbelievable.

And unlike celebrities like a Bono or athletes like Kobe Bryant -- when fans stand in line to see them, this is the only place you will be able to see them.  With technology there a multiple (in the millions) of the same piece of equipment.  This is not an exclusive experience -- yet people are willing to go through the hassle.

The implications for us in the church world is great.  With leaders in the church needing to understand how to best connect with those in our communities -- yes it is important to be current on local and world news events and it is also important to understand pop culture -- what music people are listening to; what TV shows and movies people are watching; and what celebrities people are taking an interest in, but we also need to be up on technology.  This is not just for geeks and nerds Technology is increasingly taking a bigger role in all people's lives and having a more shaping influence.

My Son's First Serving Experience

Today my 5-year old son, Rhett, had his first big church (adult services) serving experience as a stage extra during a portion of the service where the speaker, Mark Oestreicher, read the story The Ugly Duckingly to illustrate the importance of belonging.  He had to come early, be  a part of run through, stay for both services and most importantly look attentive for seven minutes as the story was told.

Love = Acting Upon Suggestions

What I have been learning of late is that one of the most meaningful ways to communicate or express love to a friend and to show honor to the relationship is by "acting upon suggestions."

In a society where time is such a precious commodity "acting upon suggestions" says a lot.  Here is what I mean by this.  Often times when a friend suggests to me a restaurant to eat it at; or a food item to try; or a movie or tv show to watch; or a song to listen to; or a book to read ... a general response I have in my mind is ... "I believe you that what you are suggesting is good -- I just do not have time to check it out -- if I have time later I will be sure to do so." 

We all heard that love is choice.  And in this particular instance it definitely applies.

When a friend offers a suggestion here is what I believe is being communicated:

1. This is something important to me and as my friend I want you to know.
   
2. You are important to me and that is why I want to share this experience with you.
   
3. I am taking an interest in you -- as I am suggesting to you, something that I believe may be of interest or of benefit to you.

When we take action upon on a friend's suggestion here is what I believe is being communicated:

1. You are important to me and I am grateful for our friendship and that you are mindful of me when you have these experiences.
   
2. I am genuinely interested in you as a friend and I want to share in things or events that are meaningful to you.
3. I am taking an interest in myself as well.  As what is being suggested may have great benefit to me.

From personal experience I know how encouraged I am when friends take time to watch a show I suggest or follow-up on any suggestion I may give.  And when I act on a suggestion from a friend not only do I get, most of the time, the benefit of a new experience, I also know how the friendship as a whole develops as I learn something new about my friend and it how it gives a great topic for on-going conversation.

How Do You Stay Relationally Connected?

 

The current issue of Relevant Magazine presented the results of this readers poll question: "What's the best way to keep in touch with friends?"

Facebook                38%
Phone                     27%
E-mail                     19%
Text Messaging       13%
Snail Mail                3%

Now I know that social networking websites like Facebook and My Space have stirred up conversation as to whether these means of interacting really does help foster community and meaningful relationships; or does it move us into further isolation and a world of pseudo and cyber only relationships.

In my staff and social settings there are those who are vehemently opposed to entering this world despite much prodding.  While for others they have made this their main social hub. I have found Facebook a very helpful and beneficial means of staying connected.  E-mail, Twitter & Skype are still my main means but Facebook is right in the mix.

Back to Facebook I can testify to how this website has been very helpful in my relational world.  For months I had been bothered by what I would call an unresolved issue and possible relational breach based upon a previous conversation.  We had not spoken since that phone call.  At times I had thought of reaching out to my friend, yet found myself giving into excuses. 

Well earlier in the year this friend and I would be at the same conference and we connected at that time.  We  cleared the air and it was made clear that there was no harm done nor was there any ill feelings between us. 

So what caused me to re-engage in this relationship?  It was a simple request that a mutual friend, very close to the other party, requested me to be added to his friends list.  I sensed that if I was in good standing with the friend requesting that I be added as a friend, things should be ok with the other friend I thought to have offended.   This simple act was all that I needed to be prodded to move forward.

How do you best stay connected with those important to you?  I would be interested in your comments.

A Grateful Leader

Last night, although it has been almost two weeks since my birthday, The Lasting Impressions Team   Leadership (LIT) threw me a birthday party.   This is after many of these leaders had already taken time to celebrate me on their own individually. Kenny and Alex Layson, who graciously hosted the gathering,  catered the evening with some of my favorite foods that included Pick Up Stix’s Special House Chicken and Cream Cheese Won Tons.  In addition for desert we had two types of lemon cakes – again favorites.  Then to conclude the evening they presented me with an unexpected incredible gift -- a mini formula one racing helmet autographed by Danica Patrick!!!

What stood out to me is how these leaders and friends really pay attention.  For days now, I have been talking about how amazed I am by Danica Patrick winning the Tokyo 300.  A few of them know that I am a real fan of hers.  So to receive this gift showed that they put a lot of thought and effort into it. 

I left challenged as a leader asking these types of questions of myself:

Do I know … 
        what their favorite foods are?
        where their passions lie?
        what their hobbies are?

For some yes, but for others I could do a much better in getting to know them.    

I left the evening feeling loved, affirmed, humbled and graced by God through friends.

I am truly a grateful leader.