One of the realities leaders face is that the people they lead leave.
It is especially hard when it is a volunteer. Now staff members leaving are never easy however, the dynamics and variables are different. When a volunteer leaves it comes down to preference or choice. Let me explain ...
Now there are times when a volunteer leaves because they are moving out of town and the practical dynamics of their involvement (i.e. distance) is unreasonable and though it is hard to lose quality person it is understandable. Sometimes it is a lifestyle change i.e. their work schedule moves from a day shift to a night shift or woman having a child forces them to leave their role. Now the difference here and the context I am speaking from is a church, is though they leave the role, in most cases you still have the relationship. Or similar to this is where they simply want to try something else in the organization. Again, though you hate losing them from your team -- the organization still gets the benefit of their involvement.
However, the scenario I am speaking of is when they are not only leaving their role, but they are also leaving the organization all together, for none of the practical reasons mentioned, but simply because ...
This is what I experienced two weeks ago when two leaders and I had a final transition conversation about their moving on. These are leaders whom I have known for 13 years. I have had the privilege of doing their wedding, I have presided over one of their loved one’s memorial service and shared their company in many social settings. Most importantly they are friends. There explanation was that it was a time for a change and it was nothing personal.
So what do you do when you are confronted this reality?
For me, the first thing I try to do is discern if their leaving is right for them. Now this is not a last attempt to manipulate or guilt them into changing their mind. No this really is in their best interest.
In over 15 years of having these type of conversations I have learned that people leave churches for the wrong reason -- the reason being they need to experience change in their life.
However, the real change needs to happen not in changing church, but in some other area of their life that is too difficult for them to deal with. So instead of addressing the real issue they feel they need to change something -- to give them the feeling that movement or action is taking place. When they look at the situation changing churches is a lot easier than selling their house, looking for a new job, or getting counseling to work on their marriage or an issue in their life.
Sadly when they choose this route they end up changing the one constant thing in their life and their situation worsens.
Now if this is not the case and you sense the change is valid and even if it is not the case and theysimply disagree with you here is how I try to respond:
First, and foremost thank them. Thank them personally and on behalf of the organization. The reason this is hard is because these are quality people that have made a difference in many people’s lives.
Second, take an interest in what their move will involve. Ask a lot of questions you might learn something from the place they are headed to.
Third, ask hard questions about how their volunteer experience here and ask for suggestions on things could be improved for those who are currently involved in the future.
Fourth, wish them the very best and offer to be reference to help them get off the ground and running in their new situation.
Fifth, keep the door open -- you never know, they might choose to return.
It is especially hard when it is a volunteer. Now staff members leaving are never easy however, the dynamics and variables are different. When a volunteer leaves it comes down to preference or choice. Let me explain ...
Now there are times when a volunteer leaves because they are moving out of town and the practical dynamics of their involvement (i.e. distance) is unreasonable and though it is hard to lose quality person it is understandable. Sometimes it is a lifestyle change i.e. their work schedule moves from a day shift to a night shift or woman having a child forces them to leave their role. Now the difference here and the context I am speaking from is a church, is though they leave the role, in most cases you still have the relationship. Or similar to this is where they simply want to try something else in the organization. Again, though you hate losing them from your team -- the organization still gets the benefit of their involvement.
However, the scenario I am speaking of is when they are not only leaving their role, but they are also leaving the organization all together, for none of the practical reasons mentioned, but simply because ...
This is what I experienced two weeks ago when two leaders and I had a final transition conversation about their moving on. These are leaders whom I have known for 13 years. I have had the privilege of doing their wedding, I have presided over one of their loved one’s memorial service and shared their company in many social settings. Most importantly they are friends. There explanation was that it was a time for a change and it was nothing personal.
So what do you do when you are confronted this reality?
For me, the first thing I try to do is discern if their leaving is right for them. Now this is not a last attempt to manipulate or guilt them into changing their mind. No this really is in their best interest.
In over 15 years of having these type of conversations I have learned that people leave churches for the wrong reason -- the reason being they need to experience change in their life.
However, the real change needs to happen not in changing church, but in some other area of their life that is too difficult for them to deal with. So instead of addressing the real issue they feel they need to change something -- to give them the feeling that movement or action is taking place. When they look at the situation changing churches is a lot easier than selling their house, looking for a new job, or getting counseling to work on their marriage or an issue in their life.
Sadly when they choose this route they end up changing the one constant thing in their life and their situation worsens.
Now if this is not the case and you sense the change is valid and even if it is not the case and theysimply disagree with you here is how I try to respond:
First, and foremost thank them. Thank them personally and on behalf of the organization. The reason this is hard is because these are quality people that have made a difference in many people’s lives.
Second, take an interest in what their move will involve. Ask a lot of questions you might learn something from the place they are headed to.
Third, ask hard questions about how their volunteer experience here and ask for suggestions on things could be improved for those who are currently involved in the future.
Fourth, wish them the very best and offer to be reference to help them get off the ground and running in their new situation.
Fifth, keep the door open -- you never know, they might choose to return.
Interesting post. I think your responses 1st-5th are great, and you should definitely stick to that, especially the thanking part.
Posted by: Becky | 10/02/2009 at 02:23 PM